I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing, Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in

So. I typed up a letter for my brother. I just talked about random things with the girls and our lives here. I figured he'd like to hear about anything that will take that place off his mind. I am sending him Socks, Baby Powder, and Baby wipes, at his request, as well as Beef Jerky Chew. It saddens me to know that he has to ask ppl to send him things like Socks, baby powder and baby wipes, when these are the little things that we take for granted. As well as the fact that we aren't walking around a desert for hours at a time, to need things like this all the time. I worry about him, over there.

I don't really have much to say. I haven't done much today, besides go to the store, and watch "The L word" haha. I am such a lazy butt. geez. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I ordered an edible arrangements arrangement for my parents. Their 25th wedding anniversary is next week, but they will be at camp. They leave Monday.

I have to go to make copies of my taxes. actually. nm. I bet I can still print them off of H&R block. Either way, I have to mail them to school, for financial aid stuff next semester.

Ashtin and Shannon (Jordan's sisters) and Shannon's baby and baby daddy are coming up in the beginning of August for a week and a half. I can't wait to see Ashtin. She is 16. I haven't seen her in 4 years. Shannon, I could care less about seeing. We never got a long all that well to begin with. Ashtin asked if she could stay a couple days here. Of course!! I am so pysched to see her. We bonded so much while living together. Her family is nuts, and it has f'd her up. She's dropped outta school and watches Shannon's baby more than Shannon does. Some ppl just shouldn't have babies.

It's going to be another late night for Vin, and then after he goes out to get drinks with his friends from work, because that is apparently a Friday tradition, now.

I am getting my hair cut like I used to have it. (Short, spikey in back and longish in front) I have an appt next Friday with my friend's mom. If I don't back out. It is a lot of work to keep that hair cut, and then when I stop getting it cut, it grows out and goes thru that awkward phase, which is the whole reason why I let it grow up and decided never to cut it again. idk. i like having long hair, because I can just pull it back in a pony tail and do virtually nothing with it. idk. But Vin loves my hair short, so idk. It makes me feel pretty when I have it short, but it's still so much work. and then I have to bobby pin it back for clinicals, since I can't put it up.

So. I almost had a panic attack earlier. I was in my bedroom putting a movie on for Gracie, and I came out, and didn't see Madalyn, so I looked in the bedroom, and under the bed, in the bathroom, the closet, everywhere. I couldn't find her. I was calling her and getting no response. I was literally freaking out, I walk into her room again, trying to figure out what to do, and she pops up from under Gracie's pile of blankets on the top bunk and goes "boo!" haha. I just thought it was a pile of blankets. lol. Thank God. I was freaking out.

My teeth are really bothering me, I really need to get to a dentist, but we have no insurance, and who knows how much crap I'm gonna have to have done. I am flossing and brushing and using mouthwash like 7 times a day, now. Geez. Thank you, for the family gene of periodontal disease. I am so paranoid I will end up one of the toothless freaks. I am sure I am just overreacting, like always, but still. That would be awful and I would def. get that fake teeth thing that look real. Rosie did it years and years ago. Her teeth look perfect now. My teeth look fine for now, but my enamel sucks, thanks also to all the abx I was on when I was a kid. haha.

We got "the fourth kind" and "the burrowers" in the mail today. We have been in a scary movie mode, but watching movies keeps us up so late, cuz Vin doesn't get out til late. (Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo ) (Sorry, I was singing along to my itunes. haha). Californication. WTF?!?! Freakin' Hank and his baby mama got together (and we were so happy) and then split up again. Vin was mad. haha. He is such a romantic, deep down inside. haha. Actually, not all that deep down. He tends to be more romantic that me. haha. I think we will prolly watch that tonight. Idk. I'd rather stay up all night watching The L word. I am on episode 7. Only 6 more and then I can watch the next 4 seasons on Watch Instantly.

I can't wait for Camp. I just had to say that again. haha.


I have been ok today. I ate half of my quesadilla from last night, smothered in sour cream and crap, but since then have only been munching on blueberries and the occasional cheese puff. I am waiting for Vin to get home, so I can figure out what we are having, and if we are going to give in to ordering out. ha. it's an addiction really. We do soo good during the fall/spring/winter and we almost never order out. I cook homemade meal every night. But now, I am home all day, and hardly cook. haha. He gets home so late, and it's to hot to cook and I am to lazy. haha.

Ok. I am going to do nothing for a while.

Until Tomorrow <3