Kailana

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Jackpot!

89 on the Burns/Oncology/Blood transfusion test. BOOYAH!



Oh yeah. My curser is apparently invisible today. It is making typing and replying to emails, and generally using my mouse very frustrating.

Now time to do the loads of preclinical prep I hate, oh so much.

Watching 'killers' which takes place in a beautiful country and city that I went to this summer--Nice, France!

Did I mention?

Did I mention that this math test that we have to get a hundred on --that we have three chances to pass-- can be the end of 280 for me?

That's right. I failed it the first time. I didn't think I did. But, I had the wrong student ID number (congrats to whoever has 4006. YOU got a 100). I got a 90. Because I rounded to the tenth and not the whole number, altho it specifically said it RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME on the problem I was working on. I failed the SECOND test today, because I can't add. I did ALL of the 'hard' medication math just fine. I got them all right. I even paid EXTRA special attention to rounding and labeling. However, on adding the input, I correctly converted everything to ml's, and had all the right numbers....but not the right answer! I EVEN USED A CALCULATOR!!! However, I did not double check that one the way I double and triple checked everything else. THAT WAS THE EASY ONE. IT WAS THIRD GRADE MATH! So, yes. My future now rides on a 'simple' ten question math test that myself, along with a handful of others, can not simply seem to pass. If I do not pass this, I will have to drop out of the program, and reapply for my last semester, and hope to get in sometime for the next semester. If I can't--then I have to wait a whole year. OMGosh. I am seriously freaking out. AND it's not until NEXT WEDNESDAY. Really? Make us wait that long? TWO WEEKS in between tests?! Really. Gee. You wonder why the Mental Breakdown stats are going up. There is your answer. Waiting. We hate to wait.

I want my life back.

I feel like an alien has invaded my body.

I do not know this stressed out lunatic that is on the verge of a mental breakdown.

My instructor asked me today if I would like to talk to my advisor. She said I seemed to have anxiety. Really? Gee. Thanks for letting me know. And, No. My advisor can't do squat for me, unless she has a nice cold glass of Red Cat. Or a Diploma in her hand.

Apparently, there has been an increase in mental breakdowns among the 280 students (prolly last semester), because my friend also had a teacher ask her that because she was anxious about the Math. Geez. We don't have time for breakdowns.

Hopefully, I will graduate and this strange alien invading my body will leave.

so much for them fixing my car.

cardinals gear

Here goes nothing

Well, actually, here goes everything.

I spent a lot of time (comparatively to how much I usually study--i.e none) and really hope I do well. I did okay on the last test without studying (80) but I want higher. Everyone said these tests are hard and it will drop your gpa. well, I have a 3.5, and I like that. Not my highest, but guess what, I don't study (until now) and I think that is pretty damn good for not studying.

This test is Oncology/burns/blood transfusions.

Including the 10.5 hours of oncology lectures we had. Our biggest chapter. Ever. Holy Shnikes.

Okay. off to look over the notes again.

Did I tell you....

...that my husband makes me a better person?

But, shhh. Don't tell anybody.

Thank God he doesn't know I have a Blog. It would all go to his head.

God knew my stubborn heart needed a soft one like my husband’s to shape mine to be more like His.

"God knew my stubborn heart needed a soft one like my husband’s to shape mine to be more like His."


I came across this quote while skimming thru blogs. I found it on Wide Open Spaces. I really like her blog, along with the others I read frequently; Apron Strings, and Bethany's Freelance Lifestyle (or something like that).


Anyways. The quote is quite fitting. I am quite stubborn and have been told I am a cold hearted BEEEEEEPPP by more than one man. That may be over reacting a little, but I tend to be not so loving, on more than a regular basis. However, the hubby is always loving. He is always willing to hug me, and to show love, even when I (feel) I don't deserve it. He has a big heart. A soft heart. Unlike the fact that sometimes I feel like mine is the size of The Grinches. 


I say things I don't mean, just because I am frustrated and angry. I blow things out of proportion, and go to bed angry. I brush him off all the time when he tries to hug me, because I am busy, or frustrated, or had a long day, or just don't feel like being hugged. I get on him about the stupidest things. I HATE that he is so obsessed about football, and will spend all day Sunday watching it, and I complain about it. I should really be thanking God that he doesn't go to the bar and spend Sunday's trashed watching football, somewhere downtown.


I should tell him I appreciate him more often. But, I don't. I should hug him and kiss him more often, and not brush him off when he comes to give me a hug--all because I am to stressed or irritable. I should show my love the way he does, but I don't. I wish I was a more loveable person. I am, when school is not in session. I need to get past the stress when I am at home, and be a loving wife. So many times Vinny tells me that I never show him love and I act like I don't love him. And I do. So much. Then I came across this quote today, and realized, that there is a reason why I ended up with Vin--a man that is so loving and puts the girls and myself before him--so that I can soften up, and become a more loving person. So that I can show my husband more often how much I love and appreciate him.

the girls made 'bunk beds' for their babies...and now the toys are all on the floor! lol

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