August 30, 2010
Dear Me,
How are you? I am doing fine right now. I am almost ready to graduate, come December. I am pretty terrified of failing. I have never failed anything major, and hopes that this letter finds me in the future, a year from now, a successful nurse that graduated in December of 2010. Hopefully in the NICU, but who knows, maybe I found myself another calling.
I really hope that this letter also finds myself having made up my mind about when to start school for my Nurse Practitioners License, as well. Nursing school, managing a family, and paying bills on what little money we have is the hardest thing I have yet to ever do. I truly hope that as I am reading this letter, I am not laughing at the fact that my life is now a million times harder.
Gracie and Madalyn are crazy little people. Their attitudes are enough to want me to commit myself. I really hope this letter is not read, a year from now, in one of those nice white padded rooms-- as tempting as the quiet, alone time may be.
I also really hope that this letter finds me also not buying diapers anymore. Madalyn really is being temperamental about everything. Including the potty.
I am really bad at this writing the letter to my future self thing. I hope I get better for the next one.
I hope that this letter finds Chris home, or rather, in the states, instead of warside. This letter is turning into a “I hope” list instead. I am going to change up my style now, and be much more optimistic. Speaking of that, my future self; you are such an optimist now, it looks good on you.
Chris sure handled that divorce well. He is doing much better with his happy, cute, non organic, family oriented Fiance. They are talking about having lots of cute little babies. They visit all the time, and you love her almost as much as Toni.
How are you and Vinny (or should I say “vinny and I?”) What did you do for your 4th anniversary? I bet the Billy Joel and Elton John concert you went to for your anniversary was AWESOME! Your relationship should be smooth sailing after the tortures and stress of nursing school are off your shoulders. Also, the nice paycheck should relieve some of the stress.
You look good 10 lbs lighter. 107 is a very fitting weight for you. Good job at hitting the gym!
Gracelyn sure is such a nice almost 6 year old. The attitude is gone, the slamming the doors and stomping her feet has stopped, along with the blatant disobeying, and she enjoys cleaning her room. Madalyn has stopped climbing EVERYTHING and has not broken any more bones. Good Job. Oh yeah, and aren’t you glad that they get along so wonderfully now?
How is Reagan? Has she outgrown her attitude, or is it worse now that she is almost 16? I am glad her and Jon broke up. She needs to experience some part of her teenage years on her own, finding her OWN identity. Not identifying herself with a boyfriend, but finding her true identity, before they break up later in her life and she is left clueless with no idea who her true self is.
Has Karina’s attitude gotten even worse, being 9 and closer to the preteens? Does she like your cooking, yet? Remember those terrible hotdogs? We don’t want to relive that experience. I am glad that those new meds are working so well for her, and that mom has agreed to do the J-Pouch surgery. I am sure it will benefit her greatly.
How is that new van working out for you? Sure is nice to have AC, I bet. That lifetime warranty sure is nice.
I know you are also enjoying Vin watching Pregame season right now, I bet. I bet he is watching it on the new flatscreen and dish network that he has been hoping for. I think that may be the only reason why he so badly wanted you to graduate....haha. Gotcha! He wanted you to graduate so he could have his happy, less stressed wife back.
His overly cleanliness has stopped now, as well. You no longer argue about cleaning. Isn’t it nice.
Have you guys found a house yet, that you want to buy? Remember, it has to have 4 bedrooms, at least. Jarin will need one for when he comes to visit, as well as a guest bedroom for when Toni and the girls and Heidi come out. Unless, of course, the baby fever has hit you. Again. Then you will need the extra bedroom for the baby. Somehow, I doubt that it has though. Babies are expensive. Babies take a lot of time. Babies awake every two hours. You want to be able to stay home as long as possible with a new baby. You can’t just take a year off of work. Remember these things. Let them be another deterrent for you. You can only have as many kids as you have bedrooms. Remember this also. You don’t want to move, do you? You have a stepson. He is a wonderful kid, despite his mother. You don’t want to risk gaining 50 lbs. You don’t want to risk not losing it. You don’t want to risk being as sick as you were with Gracelyn. If you had to be hospitalized, who would watch Madalyn while Vin worked? Repeat all this, over and over to yourself every time you think you may want another. Altho, unless you steal a sperm sample from Vin, I doubt you are having another. He is pretty against it, right now, and for very good reasons. Remember. Babies are expensive. Babes cry alot. Babies need to be fed every two hours, 24/7, Babies wear lots of diapers......
How does Mom and Dad’s property look? Is the house almost done?
Ziska’s funeral sure was long. (Ok. That was a little morbid.)
Gracelyn did great in soccer this year. She sure is the little athlete. Vin loves coaching it, as well. Madalyn thinks that Gracie is the coolest big sister ever.
Ok. I hope this letter didn’t depress you, if none of what you wanted accomplished happened, if Chris is still with Heather, if the girls still drive you insane, if you are now ten lbs HEAVIER that last year, if Ziska is still alive, if you still have the Taurus, if you are not house hunting. Just put it in your letter for next year.
Always,
Me.
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