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You gotta be wise

Listen as your day unfolds, challenge what the future holds, try and keep your head up to the sky. Lovers, they may cause you tears, go ahead release your fears, stand up and be counted, don't be ashamed to cry. You gotta be, You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard, You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, You gotta stay together

Ronald Reagan

"Abraham Lincoln recognized that we could not survive as a free land when some men could decide that others were not fit to be free and should therefore be slaves. Likewise, we cannot survive as a free nation when some men decide that others are not fit to live and should be abandoned to abortion or infanticide."
~ Ronald Reagan – Abortion and the Conscience of the Nation ~
Anne Geddes

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter, When you come close to selling out reconsider, Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance

I've been thinking about when to do Gracie's 5th birthday party. I kinda wanna do it at like the end of Aug or early September, because I want to do a tie-dye party. She LOVES to tie-dye, and they make kits for it. Her birthday is in October, so it is never predictable weather. 


I can't believe she is going to be 5. Holy Crap. I can remember the day she was born. I was two weeks late with her, and I had gone to the dr's for a non stress test and it showed that she wasn't doing as well as they wanted. so they then proceeded to do everything ass backwards (which I didn't know until I took my OB class last semester), which then lead to tachy systolic contractions which lead me to being 3 seconds away from having  to have a c-section, which then lead to a precipitous (really fast-under three hours) birth and placental complications. Thank you Oswego, for having your heads up your ass and not even bothering to tell me me what was going on, and have me figure it out 4 years later in my OB class.

Thank God I had no complications there with Madalyn. haha. Her's went pretty smoothly.

I remember when Gracie was a few weeks after her first birthday and she met Paul and Laurie. They both fell in love with her and it wasn't long until she was calling them "Grandma Laurie and Papa".

Now,  she is reading. She can read pages of Hop on Pop, and she can write her alphabet. She recognizes the numbers, but can't draw them. And she has an attitude the size of Mt. Everest.

I don't remember her walking. I remember she walked early tho. At like ten months, but I don't remember her first steps. :-( Prolly cuz by then I was working and going to school full time. She spent more time at daycare than with me, it seemed.

When she was like 11 months old she would go "whats that" to EVERYTHING and point and continually say that. She still asks a million questions. Last night she said "Why are there roads" Well. goodness. She is always asking questions that she KNOWS the answers to. Like with the geese and my mom. We were on our way to the park to meet my mom a few months ago and she asked what the geese ate. I said "grass, bugs, fish and stuff" and then she went home with my mom and on the way home asked my mom the SAME question. My mom said "bugs and grass and stuff" and Gracie goes "NOO. THEY ALSO EAT FISH." haha.

Goodness Gracious. Hard to believe she is going to be 5 in just a few short months. I have been working with her on her reading and stuff, and soon I will get the Kindergarten homeschooling books from my mom and work with her on that stuff since Kindergarten doesn't have to be reported anyways. We will figure out next year what we are going to do, as far as school. She doesn't technically have to start school until first grade, so until she is 6 going on 7. For as long as we are in the Syracuse City School District, I want to homeschool her. We are hoping to move next year to Phoenix or Camillus, so we'll see what happens.

Madalyn is talking a (little) bit more. But mostly she is my silent child. Sometimes she will get into these kicks where all she does is talk, but not often. That's ok. She'll be my silent genius. I got the report from the Early Intervention people and she scored wonderfully on every area, except expressive (obviously) and if she still continues to pronounce things in an odd mann (leaving off the first sound of a word) then to have her re-evaluated in 6 months for the preschool EI, because they work on pronunciation. I am sure she will catch up soon enough, tho.

These girls are fighting like cats and dogs all the time now. Well, worse than cats and dogs, because our cat and dog don't fight. haha. And, madalyn is on the screeching mode. gosh. I HATE that. and Gracie was pretty much outta that phase, unless daddy starts messing around with her, but now when her and Madalyn start fighting, Madlayn starts screeching, so Gracie does, so I start yelling. haha.

Madalyn has this weird affixation with her "bip bops". she won't take them off, anywhere. and she even wore them in the shower the other day, and I had to force them off her. At least, now when I tell her they are Minnie Mouse and NOT Mickey Mouse, she says "mimi mou" and not her vehemently denying Minnie Mouse and saying " NOOOO Micka Mou!!!!". haha

Ok. I'm off. Until Tomorrow <3


Who do you think you are? Runnin’ ’round leaving scars; collecting a jar of hearts and tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul...

I love Anne Geddes photographs. I so badly want a huge one framed. I love her "pure" collection (which both the ones on my blog are from). I mostly love the one with the baby laying on the woman's stomach. I've loved that one for ever. I actually got that picture off of my livejournal. haha.

It is superbly hot today. again. And Gracelyn is superbly hot. again. Madalyn peed on the potty all by herself this morning. Just got outta bed and was peeing on the potty when I went to see what she was doing. YAY.

Not much else to say. Except I had the weirdest dream that we were taking Gracie to give the govener 8000 dollars so he could pay the ransom on his wife. gee. I wonder where I got that idea from (Secret life of Ceecee Wilkes). and then there were tornados ripping apart the whole area around my parents house, and my dad was just laying on a lawn chair taking pictures. haha.

My cornflake bars look soooo yummy. To bad there are over 300 calories per bar. haha.

I've been missing Vin. After spending so much (good) time together at camp, it sucks having him work again. But someone has to bring home the moolah.

Dinner tonight at Bill and Tina's (who is not a stripper). They have Red Cat. wooot. The only issue with them is their kids are old. I hate bringing the girls places where they don't have kids. Like they have breakable stuff all over and it's totally not kid friendly. oh well. we'll see.

I guess Paul and Tina may move to Romania. Yeah. I don't get it.

Next weekend we are going to Uncle John and Aunt Val's in New Hartford. I love them. Aunt Val is super easy to get along with and fun to be around, and Uncle John is good for Vin to be around. He needs a male family member that he can talk to. Altho, him and my dad get along wonderfully (which I love) and they spent a lot of time fishing and stuff at camp. Livy is just so darn sweet. The girls LOVE her. Especially Gracie. Gracie was writing Johnny's name the other day and she drew a picture for Livy. I forgot to mail them out. She also drew stuff for my neices. With the way she draws people pictures, I'd go broke mailing them all out. haha. I should def. mail out the ones she drew for the girls tho.

I'm gonna go finish up my episode of L word I left off on, and then do some tidying up.

Until Tomorrow <3



Friday, July 16, 2010

I said to Madalyn "I

I said to Madalyn "I love you" and she goes "I love me". hahaha

I said to Madalyn "I

I said to Madalyn "I love you" and she goes "I love me". hahaha

Today she is a spitting image of Christopher. Haha.

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I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved Said, "Why are you always running in place?" Even the man in the moon disappeared Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tomorrow we are going to Vin's friends from work house. Him and his wife are making us dinner. They are like in their late 30's but whatever. She is nice. Her name is Tina (and she is NOT a stripper). We had them over for our bbq a couple months back. I was pretty trashed when talking to her, but I remember talking about food processors and different recipes. lol. I am making my mom's recipe of Cornflake Bars. I am excited.


I spent all day messing around on the computer. The first part messing around trying to figure out what is wrong with my damn computer, and the second messing around with Blogger trying to find my old layout from yesterday, cuz I found a code that will embed comments in a 'foreign' blogger layout. Super psyched. haha.

I got some blueberry pomegranate juice at the chop today. I LOVE that stuff. ALOT of calories tho, so I will prolly water it down, like I do for the girls. It's so strong and sweet, anyways.

Ok. Off to make Cornflake bars and sweep and maybe put the laundry away. Prolly will since I don't feel like listening to Vin complain about the basket of clothes that's been sitting at the end of our bed since Monday. ::sigh:: I am laundry'd out since doing 6 loads when we got back from camp. This was the last straggling load.

Until later <3





New Layout

So, I found out my new layout wasn't letting people leave comments. So, I am back to my old one. Altho I REALLY liked my new one. Maybe I will try another one later, when I have time to mess with it. Who am I kidding. ALl I have is time. I have to fold and put away a load of clothes and dishes and cleaning and crap...but I can do that an hour before Vin gets home. haha.



Jar of Hearts


Billy's performance a couple weeks ago.

Christina Perri Jar of Hearts Live on SYTYCD (7/15/10)


I found it!

[HQ] So You Think You Can Dance - Top 7 - Jose Ruiz & Dominic Sandoval


I'm totally voting for Jose.

Comfort and Twitch - Hip Hop (Forever) HQ


this isn't the one from last night, but still just as good.

One Wish



Jar of Hearts- Christina Perri + lyrics on screen




I saw her on SYTYCD last night. I LOVE HER. She does good covers of "I'm yours" and some other's to. I CAN'T WAIT for her performance (her playing piano and whoever dancing) to get to youtube from last night. It was magnificent. 

Thursday, July 15, 2010

As we go on, we'll remember all the times we had together

I had a nice time visiting with Kelly today. It's a shame we can't hang out more. The girls love to play together, and Madalyn and Liam are so darn cute!

I found all my old highschool year books in my parent's attic and I started reminiscing all my highschool memories. I forgot how close I had been with people. Stephanie was such a good friend, and the only person there for me thru some of the crazy hard times (outside of Tara and Amanda). It's a shame that we all grew up and went our separate ways, for the most part. I receive my monthly calls from Tara, and talk with Amanda sometimes- a lot lately cuz she is going thru a rough patch, but that's about it as far as high school friends. I still religiously read Stephanie's facebook and blog, and Alicia and I haven't spoken in months and haven't actually been friends in almost two years (she even de-friended me). I still and will prolly always have Heidi--despite the different states. altho, heidi was never a highschool friend, being two years older and from a completely different state and never going to our highschool. And now, Jami, of course, who makes life easier to tolerate, and just plain better :)

It's just crazy, how in highschool everyone is CONVINCED they are going to be with their boy/girlfriend FOREVER (my sis is going thru that stage now), and that their best friends will ALWAYS be their best friends. yeah. That rarely happens. I thought leesh and I were going to be the rare people that remain best friends (since kindergarden) thru to our adult years, but that ended when her a Peter split and she hated me for letting him live with us (should I have put my husband's best friend on the street?).
I always have Amanda. We have that sisterly love/hate relationship where we can be utterly annoyed with each other and when spending long amounts of time together, get super irritated, but know that no matter what we will always be there for each other, and it has been proven to be true. We always had our "mondays" when Deb and Jimmy would go to Pool and we would have Butter and Matt over. haha. we were sneaky little things. and of course, the summer we were 16. We had a lot of fun with Dustin and Ryan. (RIP).

side note: Madalyn just came outta the bedroom, where I just put them to bed 15 mins ago, wearing a floppy hat and dancing. as tho she isn't supposed to be sleeping. I tried to be stern and hide my smile while telling her to get in bed. haha.

Tara and I, holy crap. We ran around Oswego County like we thought we owned it, when we were teens. haha. Goodness. We got ourselves into some situations. Even after I moved back here from Fl and had Gracie, we always had somewhere to go and something to do. Like randomly go to Turning Stone for a weekend. Me her Gracie and Ryan.  Or when I randomly just packed up Gracie and I from Oswego and drove to New Hartford and stayed with her for 2 weeks.


I will never ever forget camping with Stephanie tho, or Driver's Ed, or just plain hanging out with her. Physics. ha. I gave up on that stupid class and just stopped doing anything, the tests, the homework. I quit it all. PRetty sure Ms. Burch hated me. haha. We had a lot of fun, and I could always count on her to make me smile.

ok. enough sappy highschool memory crap. Altho, I do love reminiscing. I had a lot of fun my teen years  with Stephanie, Tara, and of course, Heidi-the first person I ever got comnpletely trashed with (a thank you goes out to John Phillip's mother for buying us Rum) and did illegal substances with (Thank you Tommy, for to stupid to know we were using your pipe, or even smoking anything to begin with). haha.


altho, along with all those good high school memories, a lot of them include Jordan. From 11th grade we were friends, me him and Billy Corey in Chemistry, (once, my parents and I saw Dennis and Billy at Seabreeze, and my mom goes "why does everyone call him Billy Corey?" I was like "uhm. because that is his name." hahaha) and then all thru my senior year, him, Heidi, myself and Greg had a lot of fun at the bluffs and running around sterling all thru that spring/summer into the late hours of every single night. I didn't show up for my chem regents cuz I was to hungover to function. haha. good times. In my mind tho, when I randomly think about stuff like that. I just mentally forget the fact that Jordan was there, and only remember the good times Heidi and I had. haha. Sometimes I wish I had stayed here in NY with Heidi when she begged me not to leave (she was the smart one outta us, and saw the disaster coming), and gotten an apartment with her and never have gone to Fl with Jordan. but then I never would of had Gracelyn, or met the people I did down there, or experienced living completely free of adults at such a young age (there is a reason people have parents at the ages of 18 and 19, lemme tell you). Moving down there made me who I am today. I will never take back or regret anything I ever did, because every moment we experience makes us the people we are today.

I miss having fun and not having any responsibilities, but I would never turn back time to replace the family I have now. I have the best husband, whom I have a great relationship with, and the most beautiful (if not obnoxious and crazy) daughters ever.

well. Vin will be back soon with our Mexican. lol. That is all we eat. Altho this time it's from El Canelo's and not Ponchitos. Prolly watching some Californication. Or maybe one of the movies we got in Netflix. Prolly Cali, cuz I LOOOOVVVEEE that show.

Until Tomorrow <3


Talking, laughing, loving, breathing, fighting, fucking, crying, drinking, writing, winning, losing, cheating, kissing, thinking, dreaming. It's the way that we live....and looooovvvveeeee

Getting ready to head to Fulton. Gonna be a long hot drive! I am sweating so much that my hair won't dry. haha. It looks like crap today, but oh well. I'm married and have no one to impress. I've got to run to walmart (I blew up the pic of Vin and I into a 5x7 for our mantle since we have NO pics of us, except our wedding one) (It's the one with his 'sex smile'. lmao) Then I am heading to Kel's around noon. Then to Grandma June's and then my parents.

I am pretty excited to see Kel. I haven't seen her in so long. Stupid life gets in the way. Like her job. ha. stupid job. lol. soon enough I'm gonna have a job to. altho school has the same hours as a job. lol. 7 to 4ish tuesday thru Friday. well. Tues is a slightly shorter day. 9 to like 1 I think. Then all the stupid studying I am (supposed) to be doing. Ack. there goes my nerves again about school. sigh.

Reese's snacksters. LOVE THEM. 100 calories and you get cereal squares, chocolate cereal puffs, and peanut buter kisses (tiny ones, of course), but they are good for a little snack when you have a sweet tooth.

Anyways. I am going to get ready to head to Walmart! My favorite place. AND it has AC!


Until later <3

There's no such thing as perfect people, there's no such thing as a perfect life

So. I woke up this morning, before the kids, because of the damn cat. I swear. and...I get outta bed and my let foot is KILLING me and I have no idea why. It hurts like up where my ankle connects and on the outside of my foot by my pinkie toe. I can't walk without limping. wth?

It's 7:01 and I am sweating my hiney off already. It is going to be a loooong day. geez.

We also woke up to discover that Vin's paycheck was like 200 dollars short of what we (thought) it was supposed to be. He is going to investigate the matter further. It was vacay pay, so it shoulda been rounded off what he has been making on avg for the past couple weeks.

Until later <3


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Couple arrested after child found in 'deplorable conditions'

Couple arrested after child found in 'deplorable conditions'



seriously. wtf. people like this shouldn't be allowed to have children. Come on. How could a mother let her child live like this?

WOOOOT

I now have a signature that looks remarkably almost identically to mine. yay for me :)




So return to where you come from, return from where you've been

so. Blogger has been f'n up ALL day for me. I hope tomorrow is better. It erased Jami's comment. It just magically disappeared. I loved it tho. It made me smile. Maybe it will come back from where ever it went, someday. haha. Like, I can't load the dashboard page. It gives me an error, or takes forever to load. I don't get it. Maybe it is my actual computer. I do have over 8000 pictures on it. It's been slow since about 3 days before we left for camp. But other pages are loading decently. Maybe it's a roadrunner problem cuz it is slower than it used to be. gosh. i don't know.

Madalyn and super tired today. So is Gracie, she's just been zoning out all day. Now she is getting to be a pain. haha. Prolly the heat. I am sweating my hiney off.

Well, I have wrote a lot today. I have nothing else to do. Altho I do want to read, but I will keep being interrupted every 8 seconds by the girls. haha. Saturday we are going to Vin's friends house from work. His wife is nice. The last weekend in July we are going to his Aunt and Uncles house in New Hartford. They are really nice.

Paul called to tell us his trailblazer got repo'd. ok. good for you. what do you want us to do? you call us when your phone got shut off, and you call us when you want Vin to do your unemployment online and you call us when your trailblazer got repo'd. Notice the trend? oh yeah, and you called us to see if you could use my parents pool while we were at camp (NOO! I didn't even ask them. ha). Yes, you are a real winner. My father-in-law. I remain calm about the whole thing, even tho I am sick of him ONLY calling when he wants something. Sometimes he disguises it in a 10 minute conversation, and other's it's simply a 'hey, can you do this. ok. goodbye' conversation. I am sick of it, frankly. Vin needs a father, not someone who ONLY calls when he needs something. He called Vin on Father's day....to do his unemployment. Idk if he even said Happy Father's day. It was a 4 second conversation. He called, repeatedly, for Vin to do his unemployment. Vin said we were heading to lunch with our friends and we would be back in like an hour. So, an hour later he called back. and then 90 minutes later. Seriously. In that amount of time he could of just done it himself on the phone, but he doesn't want to wait 10 minutes on the phone to do it. I try to be nice, and I am nice when I talk to him, because Laurie loved him, but it is hard, knowing all the crap I know, and seeing how he treats Vin. I wonder if he called his Granddaughter on her 7th birthday?

Anyways. So, I am really gonna go now.

Until later <3

But everybody's gone and I've been here for too long to face this on my own; well I guess this is growing up

So. I keep freaking out about this coming semester. not only that, but what happens after this December.
I feel my HR speeding up, and my breathing gets faster and I have to force myself to keep breathing, at a regular rate.
I feel like I do the week before a test when I realize, hey I have a huge test (like we do everyother week for 2 years) that covers 7 chapters. and then Hey. I have to get at least a 75 on this test to pass the course (which I always get at least an 85) and then I worry about when I will have time to study (altho I never study cuz I don't know how, and I don't retain anything I didn't hear in class). and then I'm fine until like a day before the test I freak out because I DIDN'T study, altho I never do, and I always do fine. then I panic until I get the results, and I always find out I did fine.
But this is different. This is me freaking out because this is my LAST semester, and I am worried about f'n it up. What if I fail? What if I get a mean clinical instructor and I fail. I don't know how to study, and everyone says this courseload is a lot harder than the last 3 semesters. What if I can't maintain at least a 75 and I fail Theory? I haven't used any real skills since Janurary. What if I forget how to do a tube feeding? Or a Urinary Catheter? Or a Sterile Wound Dressing? What if I forget how to do anything? What if I fail horribly in clinical? Or worse yet. What if I pass? Then, I have to take my boards. What if I fail the boards? (altho Crouse has a 97% pass rate on the boards the first time). AND THEN what if I become a real nurse? and I am 100% responsible for the well being of the pts, and I have like 6 pts in one shift that I have to keep alive. I haven't even figured out WHERE I want to work. I have until October or November before I begin applying places, and by Janurary, if I pass, I will be working. I will be a nurse. WTF? THEN I have to figure out if I will keep going to school right away for my NP, or take a break. I am like freaking out. I have to be a real grownup soon with a real job, and figure out daycare and stuff and juggle all that with Vin and the girls and be a grownup. gosh. I can't even imagine being a real nurse. I want to so bad, but at the same time, it is terrifying. you can't make mistakes, in the last semester, or in real life when you are finally a nurse. You are the person that is in charge of these pts. you. no one else. the drs are lucky if they see the pts. once a week. it's up to you to be the go to person between the dr's and pt's. it's your job to keep them alive. god forbid, what if one of my pts code? wtf do I do? I have taken my 5 hour 'medical professional basic life support' cpr class. but that was on a dummy. wtf.

I have always done great in clinicals. I took a 40 hour week clinical in Jan on an oncology floor and my instructor raved that I was doing better than the girls that were already in their last semester. I juggled two high priority pts. One had luekemia, was 11 days into it, had 8 lines going in her, including a central, and had platelets being transfused in, heparin, Ca, Mg, and a variety of Abx. She had to have vitals every 10 for an hour then every 30 for the platelets, and blood draws for the Abx levels, and was on bleeding precautions for the heparin and leukocytosis precautions for the low (non exsistant) wbc levels. AND on top of that I had a homeless man who was on an Iron drip who had to have vitals every 15. AND when I got both of these pts, they were on nothing, and then the orders started coming in so I had to hang EVERYTHING. Yes. I hung like 9 bags of stuff including blood in like 2 hours. I didn't feel the least bit nervous. I just did what i had to do. My instructor was starting to look a little worried when I told her everything I had to do (including passing PO and SC meds sometime in between), but I didn't feel worried. I LOVE when things are chaotic and I make like a mental checklist of all the things to do, and I just do it. She told me at the end of the day, and weeks later at the eval how proud she was and how she got a kick outta me cuz I handled pts that were of higher complexity better than the 280 (last semester) students handled their pts. Oh yeah, and I learned how to hang Chemo, among other things.

I look at times like that when I had a million things to do and really sick pts, and wasn't stressed and then I wonder how the hell I get so stressed about my last semester and my upcoming responsibilities. yet, I still do. I still get so stressed. What if I fail? Half of the students failed last year (but I geuss they were all stupid) Our class has been told repeatedly that we are all very smart. we lost a lot the first semester (like normal) but (unlike normal) we only lost 3 since then. We all have between an 85 and 90ish average for the most part, and we are allreally close. I hope none of us fail, and I don't see many of us failing. Altho, I still worry I will. ha. I freak out and make contingency plans incase I do fail. I would have to hope I can get in the next semester and not ahve to wait. gosh. I hope I don't fail.


ok. enough stressing.

until later <3

haha

The reason why the comment from Jami wasn't showing up is cuz I ALREADY READ IT. lmao. I suck.

on another note. I am 'doing' the Slim Fast thing again. Which really means, I may have a drink for breakfast, but still just count my calories....and those thomas' bagel things work well for a snack (if you have them plain. or half of one with cream cheese) cuz snacks are supposed to be 100 calories. or a whole one with cream cheese for lunch. LOVE IT. I AM SOOOOO addicted to them!!!

So, some guy of Amanda's brother and I had like a super long conversation on Justin's (her brothers) page about Ponchitos. haha. Justin said that Taco Bell rocked and I said he should try the place down the street from me, or the place on Erie, and his friend (who is cute, but gay, I assume) said that Ponchitos is super good. I was like "hey that's the place I was talking about". It's super good. We eat there like 2x a week lately. haha. we need to stop tho. we ate there last night. super cheap tho, so who can resist when you don't feel like cooking and haven't gone grocery shopping since camp? haha.

Amanda is back with her husband. Maaaan. Enough on that since it isn't my life. But still, he doesn't treat her like he should. ok. I'll mind my own business now.

Until later <3

oh. ha.

My blogs are back that I am following. But, my comment from Jami isn't. Guess I'll have to go search for it. lol.

You are currently not following any blogs.

WTF?! And a comment that was in my email from Jami isn't showing up, either. WTF. Ok, people. Facebook always has issues, but seriously. Blogger to? Commmmmee Onnn!!

So. My foot has been super killing me lately, only when I walk, tho. haha. So, as long as I sit down all day, i'll be fine. lol. And my freakin knee. I'm used to my knee hurting when I do strenuous activities, but not when I just do nothing. sigh.

I'm gonna figure out this Blogger issue. Then watch L word. Or Read. Time Traveler's Wife is really good and (alot) more detailed than the movie. LOOOVEEE IT!!

Until later <3

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Oh now feel it comin' back again, Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind, Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again I can feel it

I love that song.

It is super ungodly hot out. Holy Crap.

I am reading "The Time Traveler's Wife". I am super psyched about it. So far, it is really good. I am only about 30 pages in tho. HOWEVER, Jodi Picoult wrote that she jealously wished she had wrote it. :) THat is a great sign that the book is gonna rock!

Until tomorrow <3

Dear Thomas, I love your

Dear Thomas, I love your Everything Bagel Thins. Thank you for making my life complete.

A lonely mother gazing out of the window Staring at her son that she just can't touch If at any time he's in a jam, she'll be by his side But he doesn't realize he hurts her so much

So. I have been feeling pretty rotten and miserable lately, and pigging out uncontrollably. Today tho, I am being good. Not eating chips and salsa for breakfast. haha.

I officially picked up my Ortho Tri Cyclen, but also have Ortho Cyclen ordered at the pharmacy incase next month or the month after I want to try that one. I have been putting off actually going to the GYN cuz I owe them like 250. I self pay and they are super expensive. haha. I don't know why I have to go every 5 months, as it is. can't they just write a script for a years worth of BC and renew it when I get my annual? They do it cuz they want to check my bp from the BC or whatever. Seriously. I go to school with 300 student nurses, and do clinical with hundreds of actual nurses and doctors. I am pretty damn sure I can find someone to take my bp, or do it on the monitor my self, instead of paying 150 dollars for you to do it. sheesh.

Camp was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Went on a hike with reagan. It was like 5miles and super awesome. There were some really really steep inclines, but we survived. We wanted to see a bear. so bad. and then we get to Rollins pond (the campgrounds attached to fishcreek) and they are all like "there are two or three bears in the grounds and have been wandering around the last two hours" so we are deep in the backwoods looking for a bear, and they are all at the campgrounds. ha. We got really freaked out tho, cuz we were hiking and all of a sudden we hear this mad rustling sound...to big to be a chipmunk or anything....and out run two deer! As bad as I want to see a bear I was a little freaked out that it coulda been one. haha. I enjoyed spending time with Reagan, she is growing up so fast.

After camping with Vin and being with him 24/7 for 8 days, I missed him terribly when he went to work yesterday, which surprised me cuz when we are at home together during layoff we fight like hell. and I can't wait for him to go back! I guess cuz we were both relaxed and having fun at camp, we hardly argued and I loved being able to spend so much time with him and the girls.

I can't wait for next year.

The l word is getting crazy. I am starting season 4 now. holy moly.

I read two really really good books this week. (last week) House Rules and The secret life of CeeCee Wilkes. super good. I can;'t wait for Jami to let me borrow The Doctor'swife, or whatever it's called. I love to read when I get really good books. It's just the process it takes to find a really good book, so I am glad that Jami likes to read to, and we can share books. I have to pee really bad, and I have to put the girls down for a nap. so

Until later <3

Monday, July 12, 2010

Baby will you be my Corona and Lime?

Well, I have an awful headache and am feeling pretty unsocial. I have even decided not to go to Walmart today. I've done a million loads of laundry, and I have a headache and feel like sitting on the couch, being miserable and doing nothing. So, that is what I am going to do. Be miserable. Have a headache, and yell at Gracelyn. I could really do without the last one to make the first two worse. sigh.

In her new skirt that Jami got her, being a little dramatic. haha

Homefries and Scrabbled eggs or an Everything Bagel with Veggies Cream Cheese?

Those are my options for breakfast. Idk what I want. Do I want to mess up two frying pans and make my fav, homefries and eggs, or just mess up a knife and make an Everything Bagel with Veggies Creamcheese? It's not a bagel thin, just a regular one, so not as good. hmmm. Idk. I think I will go for the less messy Bagel.

I will write more later, I was just compelled to write something, so I did. haha. Now, time to feed the girls, eat my bagel, wash clothes, upload pics, (which I am having issues doing), send them in to Walmart, watch the L Word while folding laundry, pick up the pics, and a bunch of other crap today. sigh.

oh yeah, today I am switching to Ortho Tri Cyclen, cuz it is serisouly, 50 dollars cheaper a month. lets see how awful my months get. Before I had Yasmin, I was in pain everyday, always had cysts, and spotted ALL MONTH LONG. I will kill someone if that happens on this one. sigh.

Until Later <3