A lonely mother gazing out of the window Staring at her son that she just can't touch If at any time he's in a jam, she'll be by his side But he doesn't realize he hurts her so much

So. I have been feeling pretty rotten and miserable lately, and pigging out uncontrollably. Today tho, I am being good. Not eating chips and salsa for breakfast. haha.

I officially picked up my Ortho Tri Cyclen, but also have Ortho Cyclen ordered at the pharmacy incase next month or the month after I want to try that one. I have been putting off actually going to the GYN cuz I owe them like 250. I self pay and they are super expensive. haha. I don't know why I have to go every 5 months, as it is. can't they just write a script for a years worth of BC and renew it when I get my annual? They do it cuz they want to check my bp from the BC or whatever. Seriously. I go to school with 300 student nurses, and do clinical with hundreds of actual nurses and doctors. I am pretty damn sure I can find someone to take my bp, or do it on the monitor my self, instead of paying 150 dollars for you to do it. sheesh.

Camp was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Went on a hike with reagan. It was like 5miles and super awesome. There were some really really steep inclines, but we survived. We wanted to see a bear. so bad. and then we get to Rollins pond (the campgrounds attached to fishcreek) and they are all like "there are two or three bears in the grounds and have been wandering around the last two hours" so we are deep in the backwoods looking for a bear, and they are all at the campgrounds. ha. We got really freaked out tho, cuz we were hiking and all of a sudden we hear this mad rustling sound...to big to be a chipmunk or anything....and out run two deer! As bad as I want to see a bear I was a little freaked out that it coulda been one. haha. I enjoyed spending time with Reagan, she is growing up so fast.

After camping with Vin and being with him 24/7 for 8 days, I missed him terribly when he went to work yesterday, which surprised me cuz when we are at home together during layoff we fight like hell. and I can't wait for him to go back! I guess cuz we were both relaxed and having fun at camp, we hardly argued and I loved being able to spend so much time with him and the girls.

I can't wait for next year.

The l word is getting crazy. I am starting season 4 now. holy moly.

I read two really really good books this week. (last week) House Rules and The secret life of CeeCee Wilkes. super good. I can;'t wait for Jami to let me borrow The Doctor'swife, or whatever it's called. I love to read when I get really good books. It's just the process it takes to find a really good book, so I am glad that Jami likes to read to, and we can share books. I have to pee really bad, and I have to put the girls down for a nap. so

Until later <3