I am a Student Nurse. I gave up my life so I could learn how to save yours.

Oh, how busy I have been. I haven't even had time for facebook, much less blogger. Besides the occasional phone text to either.

Reagan is going to be 15 tomorrow. Holy Smokes. I vividly remember the day she was born. I was 10. Almost. The night before, we had spent the night at our neighbors, since we all went to the same Catholic School (yes, I went to a Catholic School.), and the next day we got off the bus and my dad was in their driveway and said that we had a baby sister. We went to see her. How cute she was. I was the proud big sister. I then continued to dote on her. Until she hit the terrible 2's and 3's and 4's and 5's, and Alicia and I enjoyed putting her behind the couch, where she couldn't get out. yes. i was an evil sister. She has grown up (to the whole age of 15), to be a normal teenager. sigh. But she will grow out of it. I did. But, honestly, even my parents say, I was not crazy like her about her looks and her hair and her makeup, and her damn horse. haha. Or her bf. I did not have a boyfriend until I was like 15 and a half. She had Jon at 13. sigh. They are still 'together'. He is a good kid. However, Reagan has been at the public school for not even a month, and she is already taking pics of her with her guy 'friends'. I can see where this is going, altho she will deny it. haha.

Nursing School. The end is so close, but yet seems so far away. and, Frankly (my dear, I don't give a damn), I am terrified of graduating. Terrified. I am terrified of failing. I am terrified of clinical. I am terrified. Just plain terrified. Our clinical instructors are wonderful. However, they are terrifying. They push us. Which is terrifying, but apparently a good thing. We were told if they stop pushing, it means they have given up on us. Now, is the time that we are supposed to grab the baton and start passing them. We are coming up on half way thru.

Baton?, you ask? What is this, a damn relay race? Why, yes, my friend, it is. They described this semester as "a relay race where we are running at the same pace, about to pass the baton off, and we will drag you flailing and kicking and screaming about, until we pass off the baton and you take off on your own." that doesn't sound terrifying, now does it?

Sometimes, i wish I had gone to a nursing school that wasn't so demanding, and wasn't the best one around, and wasn't so terrifying. However, I know I wouldn't be as prepared as everyone says I will be. And, I wouldn't have a 98% chance of passing the NCLEX the first time. Crouse is so sure that we will pass the NCLEX that they hire us as new grads, take care of filing everything for us- the graduate nurse paperwork, the NCLEX paperwork, and our RN license paperwork., reimburse us 400dollars (yes, that is the cost to become a RN), and pay us RN pay for our 90 days as a GN (graduate Nurse). Yet, I am still terrified that despite my decent grades, I will be part of the 2% to fail the boards. Welcome to my pessimistic life.

Madalyn is well on her way to becoming a diaper free child. FINALLY. she went pee on the potty all day long for Ms. Gretchen. Dry Diaper. ALLL DAY. we come home. she refuses to go on the potty. has a slightly wet diaper, and then finally a few hours later, pee's on the potty. I reward her with york peppermint patties. After all, that is what I like to be rewarded with. She didn't go this morning. She must like Ms. Gretchen better. or, she just likes competing for the potty chair with another 2 year old there that is potty training. haha.

Ok. I am going to watch an episode of Nip/Tuck and then proceed to spend the day doing homework, so that I can go celebrate my sister and mom's birthdays stress free. Yes, my mom's birthday is the day after Reagan's. She always said she wanted to be done having kids by the time she was 30. It worked. She had Reagan the day before she turned 30. However, 7 years later, two planes hit the twin towers, my dad was unable to travel for work, and my mom got pregnant (yuck). I now have a beautiful 8 year old sister. haha.