Food for pleasure.

I am way to addicted to eating. Bad things. I was doing the slimfast thing, but gave up. I don't NEED to lose weight. I am 5'3 117ish lbs. But I am flabby. I would like to tone up, but I have had no time to go to the gym. And, frankly, I would rather sit home and eat than go to the gym. School has started. Meaning, maybe I can fit some gym time before or after school.

Right now, I don't want to count calories. I know my Scrambled Egg Sandwhiches (yes capitalized, because I feel they are that important), won't make the cut. Sure. They have Dairy (cheese and milk) carbs (two slices of unhealthy white toast) Vegetables (tomatoes) and Oils and Fats (globs of Mayo and BBQ sauce)....but I know, they are wayyy outside my 200 calorie breakfast and lunch. haha. But. I just can't give them up. I love food. to much.

I LOVE popcorn. Words can not describe my love for it. When I am not eating my egg sandwhich, I am eating popcorn. I switched to airpop, to feel healthier, but then I layer it with butter, salt, butter seasoning, and parm. cheese. I even scrape the bowl to make sure I get all the unhealthy goodness.

I have got to do something. I can not be a nurse that is suppose to "teach" and promote good eating habits, if I eat like crap. ALTHO, if I end up in the NICU like I so badly want to, it won't be an issue. I am pretty sure I won't have to teach the babies or parents anything about eating solid foods for quite a while. So, that would be my one scapegoat to condone my eating habits.

I dream about food. Yes. I do. Now, is where you tell me that I need help. Professional help. Maybe I should call HelpPeople right now. (the mental health people employed by our hospital to keep the employee's sane). I had a dream that Twizzlers (another guilty pleasure of mine. by the bag. in one sitting.) were an essential food group. They were full of an essential vitamin that we needed. Everyday. Altho, in my dream, the vitamin was Rubber. I guess my subconscious was trying to get thru to me that twizzlers are not healthy, even tho I was desperately trying to make myself believe that they were....via dreamland.

Okay. I am going to see if we have eggs. I know we don't have tomatos....but I really don't want to go to the store. I am almost certain I am out of eggs. I by passed them on purpose at the store. I didn't buy them, trying to control my egg fetish. But, I am almost tempted to go to walmart. I need Ink anyways. I'm just kidding myself. I wasn't planning on getting ink today, so yes, I am about to make a special trip to the store to employ my bad eating habits.

I checked. We have ONE egg (my sandwhiches ALWAYS have two) and sweet roasted red peppers that could substitute the tomato. however. How will the roasted red peppers taste smothered in bbq sauce and mayo? Because I will not give up the Oils and Fats part of my food pyramid. I just don't know if these ingredients will suffice. 

If all else fails, I'll have popcorn for breakfast. Hey, at least it is the healthy airpopped kind.