Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

Wow. It's been absolutely ages since I have wrote in here. Maybe because I have been busy trying to graduate. Yep. I did it. I graduated!! I have sent in all my paperwork and now I am just waiting on the state to tell me I am legal or whatever to take my boards!! THEN I start working!!! YAY!!! I have an unofficial job offer at Upstate on a transplant/trauma/surgical floor. Unofficial meaning, I have the job, but can't come in and do any paperwork until they hear back from two references. Being the holidays, they have only heard back from one out of the 6 I gave. haha. Great. Talk about me being anxious. I just want that official offer so I can relax and know I have a job. Altho, with the state taking their sweet time, idk if I will make the Jan 20th start date. Another thing I forgot to mention....it's overnights. 7pm to 730 am. Makes for fun times. haha.

Rolo has a torn Cruciate Ligament. Makes her hop around on 3 legs. She's no small dog either. 69 lbs. All of her hopping puts her at risk to tear the other ligament. Then idk what happens. I talked to the vet yesterday. We can't afford the surgery right now (1700 dollars), but he said he knows dogs that have hopped around for 4 years and were fine, and even a dog with both ligaments torn. I feel bad for her, but better knowing that we don't have to do anything drastic because we can't afford it right now. maybe after I am working and we are settled and stuff. like 10 months to a year. I thought it was going to be 3-4k, but she is under a 100 lbs so he said they can just put a rod in there to stabilize it and it will heal.

New Years Eve. wow. Almost 2011. Holy Crap.

We are working on potty training Madalyn. It's going ok. If I ask her every 15 minutes we go all day without accidents. She even got up a couple times before she had fallen asleep to go (altho she went, i think that was more her wanting to get out of bed than wanting to use the potty. haha). She will be 3 in Feb, and I just want to be done with diapers. haha.

Gracelyn has been on a stealing scissors/food rampage. I don't get it. She stole a can of pringles off the counter yesterday and ate them in her room. I asked her why, she said she was hungry. well. I KNOW i feed her, so what the heck. She always says she is starving, but it is because she is so darn picky. I made her a whole pb&j, and she only ate part of it. No wonder she was hungry. sheesh. She needs to learn to eat what is given to her. She has an unlimited supply of apples that she eats day around, but she is soo picky when it comes to meals. sigh.

well. TTFN.

And I'll be by your side / Wherever you fall / In the dead of night / Whenever you call / And please don't fight / These hands that are holding you

I am at school working on my case study ppt. Okay. So, I WILL be working on it. I have yet to even open the Keynote ap. lol. It has to be a 15 to 20 minute long presentation on my pt. that has many many things wrong with him (and, who also left AMA.--but I'll leave that part outta my presentation....).  I also have my interview at 1. OMGosh. Eeekks. 

Oh yeah. My brother comes home next week for a week and a half. WOOOOOOOOTTTTTT.

eeeekkkkkkkkk!

Interview tomorrow. That's right. A. Real. Job. Interview. OMGosh.

I love 30 rock. Does that make me immature?

Clinical is, i am glad to say, going WONDERFULLY!!!! OMGosh. Wonderful. I am rocking the socks off of my instructor and my pts. haha.

my wine is frozen solid. haha

Madalyn just woke up (at 1045pm), crying hysterically for George's eye. She must of been having a flashback. lol. My poor piggydoos.

is kind of freaking out....i didnt save the work I did last night onto my flashdrive for my case study....running home to hope it's on my laptop.....

Inhaled lunch....back to the floor til 3ish....interestring D/C today......

Got the script....finally heading home!

I love Dr.Chaudhary-and she's been the family pediatrician for over 20 years-but I am so sick of waiting for an hour after our appt. time.

Blessed are the flexible, for they never get bent out of shape.

the tiedye shirts the twins helped the girls make at gracie's bday party.

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is it bad that I am feeding madalyn cheeze whiz outta the can? haha

The notary at our bank bears a striking resemblence to Ben Afflect.

I haven't been on here in ages. I mean, REALLY been on here. I have so many blogs to catch up on. It's going to be an all day thing. haha.

Did I mention......I have a job interview next Monday. OMGosh!!!!! I am continuing to put out apps still (ok. I only put out one other. haha) incase I don't get it....but they seemed SUPER interested!!! WOOOHHHOOOOOO.

Gracie got a Leapster Tag. She loves it.

I suck. I really do. I have not been blogging as I should. As I was. Maybe tomorrow.

the birthday girl with her pretty skirt from Jami and her 'It's my party' shirt.

the birthday girl with her pretty skirt from Jami and her 'It's my party' shirt.

Madalyn is under a blanket with rolo and whispering and tickling her. haha

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Out of clinical....sitting in traffic.

It's been awhile

It's been awhile. School/Clinical has been keeping me busy. To say the least.

I'm on 4south. Oncology. With a wonderful instructor who pushes everyone to graduation, or drags them kicking and screaming. I'm not as worried about failing clinical, anymore. I am becoming more confident that I can, infact, keep a pt. alive. haha. but serious.

Theory. Ha. I got a 78 on my last test. Remember that 89? Yeah, I liked that better. 80 was my low. and then I get this. I studied as much as I could--despite being half blind on my day to study (i'll explain later. Madalyn gave me a corneal abrasion). However, Some ppl got like 83's and 84's....and some ppl got 63's. So I guess I won't complain. I passed. My avg is like an 83. Not to bad....but not what I want. I want a lot of leeway for the final examine. Guess I have to bump up my game. Blah.

It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife....

it's wrote by the founder n chairman of the breast cancer research foundation.

a wonderful (early) bday present from my favorite sister in law <3

Hope I did well on that test.....

numbing drops are wearing off.......owwwww.

FWD:Thats my girl

Thats my girl

Finally some relief!! They put

Finally some relief!! They put in some numbing drops (that burned like hell, I might add). Whew.

an hour til triage. geez.

headed to Prompt Care at

headed to Prompt Care at my eye drs reccomendation. My pain and vision are both worse.

the girls shoes from aunt toni!

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gracelyn posing in the halloween pjs from grandma sue

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madalyn in the halloween pjs from grandma sue.

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rolo curled up on madalyn's old baby bath mat....

Why do I have to PAY them to TAKE my plates? geez.

Class til 1200 today.....that makes for a looongg class!

maaaaann...I thought there was going to be a happy ending to Season 4 of Dexter....boy, was I wrong ...looking forward to next season....

she's really digging that apple. haha. she eats the whole thing. core and all, if I don't stop her. lol

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Sitting on the couch with the hubs, rolo, and whiskers watching Dexter. Yes, our 65lb rottie is cuddling with us and the cat. A little much for a loveseat, tho.

I passed!!

Just took the math test....in a state of panic until I find out how it went.....

tried to be a good samaritan and donate blood....however I got my tatto in March, s i couldn't.

i gave gracie one of her outfits early. pink leopard print. lol

we did it.

My blue car died. It exploded. literally. Well, the transmission. And. apparently, that is an important part of a car. I am going to miss it. I've had it since I moved back here. For over 5 years. I brought Gracelyn home in it. Not Madalyn, because that was one of the times my car was outta commission. I feel like I am mourning the loss of a good friend. Ok. enough lameness.

We bought a 2010 Regatta Blue Hyundai Elantra.

My goal was to go get something that wouldn't break our bank (i.e-Not the above car)

It has 17 miles on it. SEVENTEEN. My car was 10 years old with 85k on it when I bought it.

We were hoping to get approved for a used car at Sun. No such luck. I did. Not Vin. However, he makes the money, and I don't. so....that got us NO WHERE.

Vin called Fuccillo hoping we could get into a used car there--we knew it would be more expensive, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Nope. We don't qualify for a used car....but we qualify for a brand new one. WHAT?! I don't get that.

So. We will now be broke for the next 2-3 months until I start working, and we will be eating ravioli's (they are 2 for a dollar right now at the chop), for the next year---but I won't have to put this car in the shop for many many moons.

I had a mini panic attack when he told us the price, the payment--all that after putting down 2.5k in cash. Holy Crap. But. we have no other choice. nada. We NEED two cars. So. Yeah. We have two cars now.

I still miss my gas guzzling blue car....but who can't love a brand new car that still has the plastic on it, and gets 26 mpg city driving? My blue car wouldn't get that going anywhere. haha.

Plus. It's really shiny.

It's official. We just put a whole crap load of money down on a new Hyundai Elantra.

I went to the bathroom and Madalyn said 'Did you go pee? alright! Good girl!' and then flushed the toilet. haha. Thanks, Madalyn

on the way to the self service dog wash. rolo loves car rides!

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taking Rolo to K9 wash&go.

Kailana

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Jackpot!

89 on the Burns/Oncology/Blood transfusion test. BOOYAH!



Oh yeah. My curser is apparently invisible today. It is making typing and replying to emails, and generally using my mouse very frustrating.

Now time to do the loads of preclinical prep I hate, oh so much.

Watching 'killers' which takes place in a beautiful country and city that I went to this summer--Nice, France!

Did I mention?

Did I mention that this math test that we have to get a hundred on --that we have three chances to pass-- can be the end of 280 for me?

That's right. I failed it the first time. I didn't think I did. But, I had the wrong student ID number (congrats to whoever has 4006. YOU got a 100). I got a 90. Because I rounded to the tenth and not the whole number, altho it specifically said it RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME on the problem I was working on. I failed the SECOND test today, because I can't add. I did ALL of the 'hard' medication math just fine. I got them all right. I even paid EXTRA special attention to rounding and labeling. However, on adding the input, I correctly converted everything to ml's, and had all the right numbers....but not the right answer! I EVEN USED A CALCULATOR!!! However, I did not double check that one the way I double and triple checked everything else. THAT WAS THE EASY ONE. IT WAS THIRD GRADE MATH! So, yes. My future now rides on a 'simple' ten question math test that myself, along with a handful of others, can not simply seem to pass. If I do not pass this, I will have to drop out of the program, and reapply for my last semester, and hope to get in sometime for the next semester. If I can't--then I have to wait a whole year. OMGosh. I am seriously freaking out. AND it's not until NEXT WEDNESDAY. Really? Make us wait that long? TWO WEEKS in between tests?! Really. Gee. You wonder why the Mental Breakdown stats are going up. There is your answer. Waiting. We hate to wait.

I want my life back.

I feel like an alien has invaded my body.

I do not know this stressed out lunatic that is on the verge of a mental breakdown.

My instructor asked me today if I would like to talk to my advisor. She said I seemed to have anxiety. Really? Gee. Thanks for letting me know. And, No. My advisor can't do squat for me, unless she has a nice cold glass of Red Cat. Or a Diploma in her hand.

Apparently, there has been an increase in mental breakdowns among the 280 students (prolly last semester), because my friend also had a teacher ask her that because she was anxious about the Math. Geez. We don't have time for breakdowns.

Hopefully, I will graduate and this strange alien invading my body will leave.

so much for them fixing my car.

cardinals gear

Here goes nothing

Well, actually, here goes everything.

I spent a lot of time (comparatively to how much I usually study--i.e none) and really hope I do well. I did okay on the last test without studying (80) but I want higher. Everyone said these tests are hard and it will drop your gpa. well, I have a 3.5, and I like that. Not my highest, but guess what, I don't study (until now) and I think that is pretty damn good for not studying.

This test is Oncology/burns/blood transfusions.

Including the 10.5 hours of oncology lectures we had. Our biggest chapter. Ever. Holy Shnikes.

Okay. off to look over the notes again.

Did I tell you....

...that my husband makes me a better person?

But, shhh. Don't tell anybody.

Thank God he doesn't know I have a Blog. It would all go to his head.

God knew my stubborn heart needed a soft one like my husband’s to shape mine to be more like His.

"God knew my stubborn heart needed a soft one like my husband’s to shape mine to be more like His."


I came across this quote while skimming thru blogs. I found it on Wide Open Spaces. I really like her blog, along with the others I read frequently; Apron Strings, and Bethany's Freelance Lifestyle (or something like that).


Anyways. The quote is quite fitting. I am quite stubborn and have been told I am a cold hearted BEEEEEEPPP by more than one man. That may be over reacting a little, but I tend to be not so loving, on more than a regular basis. However, the hubby is always loving. He is always willing to hug me, and to show love, even when I (feel) I don't deserve it. He has a big heart. A soft heart. Unlike the fact that sometimes I feel like mine is the size of The Grinches. 


I say things I don't mean, just because I am frustrated and angry. I blow things out of proportion, and go to bed angry. I brush him off all the time when he tries to hug me, because I am busy, or frustrated, or had a long day, or just don't feel like being hugged. I get on him about the stupidest things. I HATE that he is so obsessed about football, and will spend all day Sunday watching it, and I complain about it. I should really be thanking God that he doesn't go to the bar and spend Sunday's trashed watching football, somewhere downtown.


I should tell him I appreciate him more often. But, I don't. I should hug him and kiss him more often, and not brush him off when he comes to give me a hug--all because I am to stressed or irritable. I should show my love the way he does, but I don't. I wish I was a more loveable person. I am, when school is not in session. I need to get past the stress when I am at home, and be a loving wife. So many times Vinny tells me that I never show him love and I act like I don't love him. And I do. So much. Then I came across this quote today, and realized, that there is a reason why I ended up with Vin--a man that is so loving and puts the girls and myself before him--so that I can soften up, and become a more loving person. So that I can show my husband more often how much I love and appreciate him.

the girls made 'bunk beds' for their babies...and now the toys are all on the floor! lol

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